Posts Tagged ‘Money Mentor Coach’

Living in the Past Lane

Living in the past?

Are you living in the past, present or future?

 

Past performance is not indicative of future results…

This standard disclaimer applies to many investment vehicles. It typically does not apply to human behavior. We are creatures of habit and tend to do the same thing – even when it becomes painfully obvious that it is not working.

The past often provides clues about our present.  If we seek change, it is fruitful to spend a few moments sifting through the past. What were our financial circumstances growing up? Were we raised with an abundance or scarcity mindset? How was money talked about (if at all)? What are our beliefs about money? As children we adopt the belief system of our parental units or caregivers. These beliefs become part of our operating system when we grow up. Unless we look at our beliefs, we hold on to some ideas that are not consistent with our current reality. Those beliefs limit our future reality.  When we continue to believe that money does not grow on trees, we miss out on the opportunity to become an orchard owners or to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

There is a deep-seated fear in our culture about having limited financial resources. That fear paralyzes us and keeps us on the sidelines when we could take action.

A few years ago, I talked with someone who had $1,000,000 in idle cash. They were terrified of losing money. They had enough assets to cover their living expenses until age 100 and beyond. It was not about the money. It was this deep-seated fear about something that was not true at the present moment in time. We often blame money. Money is only a tool. Consider fear as a road sign alerting you to slow down and look at your beliefs.  Ask yourself – is this happening now or am I reacting to something from my past?

We cling to the old and familiar long after it quits serving us.  The road feels bumpy as you blaze new trails and create new habits. It often helps to have support as you travel along this brave new path.

Are you stuck in the past? Schedule your complimentary initial consult today!

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Is Happiness Expensive?

Happiness is Expensive

Is happiness really expensive?

This message has haunted me these last few days. I believe that UNhappiness is expensive. If you are unhappy and use money to chase happiness, it leads to more unhappiness. So you spend more money and the cycle repeats until you are broke or wake up and realize that something has to change.

Happiness is a choice. It is a decision we make. It has nothing to do with the amount of toys we have or the number of zeroes in our bank accounts. Every day we are bombarded with messages that feed this myth. We believe that if we buy that new shiny/pretty, we will be happy. Been there done that and believe me folks, it does not work.

I used to postpone my happiness. I would set goals and when I reached them, I felt hollow. So I set more goals. The more “successful” I became, the less happy I felt. I believed that more money was the answer. I finally decided to stop chasing happy. I gave up the illusion that more money or any other shiny/pretty would make me happy. I decided to be happy NOW.  I sat myself down an looked at my values. I examined my wants and needs and realized that some of my needs were frozen needs. I started thawing them out. At first, I had to fake happy. Then I started to notice that I was not faking it anymore. I was pleasantly surprised at how much peace came with that decision.

There were a few things that helped me along this path and I wanted to share them with you.

1. Turn off the television.

I went hardcore and got rid of mine completely. You may want to start with going a day, week or month without television. Notice what happens and how you spend your time. This gives you some space from marketing messages.

2. Connect with like-minded happy people.

They say birds of a feather flock together. Notice the people around you. Are they always complaining or are they positive people? How do you contribute? Can you decide to be happy together? We cannot control others, however we can make choices about how we spend our time. Do you need to expand your circle and find new friends? Be kind and compassionate with yourself and others as you work this out.

3. Learn to distinguish between wants, needs and frozen needs.

As humans, we all  have basic needs – food, clothing and shelter. We also have emotional needs. Some of our needs were not met as children and so those needs are frozen in time. We can never go back and change the fact that there was a lack. If we try to fill those needs in the present time, we find that we are never satisfied.  Ask yourself what you are hoping to accomplish with a particular want or need. What expectations do you have and are they being met? Are your expectations realistic? Are they based on old hurts? Journaling is a great tool to start sorting this out. If appropriate, seek professional help and guidance if you decide that you do not want to work on this alone.

If you find yourself caught in the spiral of using money to chase happiness, I invite you to sign up for my blog updates and to stay tuned for more tips and suggestions on this topic and others.

 

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Welcome to my Blog!

The name of my blog is Roadmap to Change. I chose this name because as a money mentor coach, I help people create their own financial roadmap so they can get and keep their financial house in order.  Often – this means change. The word change has multiple meanings. Change can mean to replace or remove something. Change can be about becoming or making something different. It also means to convert one currency into another or to exchange money for smaller units. When it comes to your finances, change (action) can lead to change (¢) and over time it all adds up.

Is Change good or bad? Depends on your perspective. Sometimes change feels scary. Change can lead to something different and many of us value the tried and true. Maybe we are not 100% happy with the status quo and yet we are not willing to rock the boat and take a chance on change.  We settle for less because we are afraid of making the wrong choice or losing what we have.  I have found that personally, when I take a chance on change, I am seldom disappointed. Things may not always turn out the way I want and yet somehow more often than not, I end up with something better than what I left behind. When I want something different, I do something different. Sometimes I take baby steps and sometimes I take quantum leaps.

I invite you to join me on this great adventure exploring how to change your money story and open up to a whole new world of possibilities! Stay tuned for more tips and ideas about creating change.

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